This blog is small glimpses into my heart and soul - attempts to be transparent with friends, and sometimes, to myself. This is my safe place, where I can come and be purely Ness.

Family: If you found your way here, please do me a favor and don't poke through my closets, ok?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Not So Much of an Answer Answer

Results time. All the testing done, from the 17 vials of blood, to the horrible biopsy, to the not so horrible sonohysterography, and the other blood tests in between. I felt ill as I headed to the appointment today, nervous about what we would hear.
It really was a bit anti-climatic as we sat there listening to, "You're healthy. The biopsy came back negative. The sono didn't show anything wrong."
As it turns out the only things that have shown up are some slightly elevated hormone levels and a TSH (thyroid) that was on the high end of normal. A lower TSH level is more ideal for pregnancy, and the hormone levels are often connected to poly-cystic ovarian syndrome although I don't really have any other symptoms. Dr said she would recommend some cycle monitoring to keep an eye on the hormone levels to see what they were doing over a longer period of time, possibly thyroid medication, and then monitoring and progesterone once I got pregnant to give the baby an optimal chance. 
There is one test that we don't have results from yet, and that's the genetic testing. It is possible that those answers will come back and will reveal an issue that will have been the main cause of all our losses, and that will be daunting since as far as I know there won't be anything we can do about it. I might be wrong - I haven't looked into it that much, but what do you do if your genes are screwed up?
Since we are moving next week, Dr is going to give us a referral to a clinic in our new city, and we will see about pursuing some of these options. I'm still not really sure how I feel about all of this - the meds make me nervous, and knowing that there is still a pretty decent risk of miscarriage doesn't really help. I'm really not much farther ahead than I was before, and I want to be able to try again, I want to have another baby, but what if there are just more losses ahead for me? What do I do with that? How much more can I handle before I give up? How successful would all of this be and how much would it screw with me on the way?
There is so much going on right now, so I will wait until the new year to focus on all of this and figure out what exactly to do from here. 


  1. I'm so sorry that you didn't get more answers. The what ifs are so terrifying when you're dealing with recurrent loss. Hugs to you.

  2. Thanks so much. I'm glad I did this and that there is no major issue, but it would have been nice to know that doing "x" would have greatly lowered the risk, you know? I'm going to keep trying, but it is pretty intimidating as I'm sure you know.

  3. Hello!

    I'm just going to jump in and ask you a question: have you ever considered taking on a paleo diet? It's my understanding -- and I could be totally wrong -- that increasing protein and good fats intake can help reset hormones and increase the possibility of fertility.

    I don't know. Perhaps I'm out of my depth with this one, but because you're my friend I thought it worthwhile to toss a little hope into the mix.


  4. Kane, I appreciate you sharing what knowledge you have to offer. We have talked about the Paleo diet before and I don't deny the possibility that it would be a help. At this point it is a huge undertaking that I don't feel like I have the strength to do. Perhaps at some point that will change.