This blog is small glimpses into my heart and soul - attempts to be transparent with friends, and sometimes, to myself. This is my safe place, where I can come and be purely Ness.

Family: If you found your way here, please do me a favor and don't poke through my closets, ok?

About Me (and This Blog)

I started this blog because I found myself a bit of an outsider when it came to parenting and the decisions that come as part of that package. I found that most natural parenting choices - co-sleeping, full term breast feeding, cloth diapering, gentle discipline, etc - resounded with me, they were what made the most sense to my mind and spirit. Unfortunately, I knew no other parents that shared my values. I had no one that I could bounce questions off of, no one to back me up, or support the decisions I was making, and occasionally I just felt utterly frustrated when I watched other parents make choices from lack of information, or even plain lack of caring. I needed a place where I could work my thoughts out, share things I had learned, and occasionally, vent. This became my safe place.
As time when on, I found a few things changing. First, I began to mellow a bit on all of this "parenting stuff." I think in learning about how to teach my son with respect and gentleness, I began get a bit better at showing them to other adults as well. I still think that gentle parenting from birth to adulthood is ideal, but I'm slower to jump to conclusions and judgments of parents who make different choices. I'm also much more cautious in making sure another parent might be receptive and open to an differing opinion or thought, before voicing it to them. I try to seize opportunities to share information or an "have you considered this?" but always as gently as possible.
Second, we began trying to conceive. We had miscarriage after miscarriage. So much of my life began to be about miscarriage, tied in with my faith, trying again, and then searching for answers. So I began to need a safe place to share some of the crazy thoughts going round, and to "talk" to others that I could truly be open with.
So, my blog morphed. I wondered if I would lose followers who had joined because of parenting posts I had written, but I realized that what I needed more than readers (although, how very grateful I am for all of you), I needed my blog to keep being my safe place, a space where I could simply share whatever I needed to, whatever emotion I needed to work out into words. So, I talk about miscarriage. I talk about faith. I talk about trying to conceive, about testing, and waiting, and doctors. I talk about my feelings, my experiences, and every now and then, about trying to be the best parent I can to my Bug, and why I make the choices I do.

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