This blog is small glimpses into my heart and soul - attempts to be transparent with friends, and sometimes, to myself. This is my safe place, where I can come and be purely Ness.

Family: If you found your way here, please do me a favor and don't poke through my closets, ok?

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I've Got Sunshine On A Cloudy Day

This past week... I'm not even really sure what to say. It's been very up and down and frustrating and exciting and, ugh... 
Inigo Montoya: Let me 'splain.
Inigo Montoya: : No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
(Who doesn't love "Princess Bride?")

Since last week I've had a cold/sinus infection. It has finally been getting better, but I'm still dealing with an ache in my teeth and cheekbones that sets in for an hour or so around the middle of the day. Bug also had this cold at the beginning of the week, but thanks to breastmilk! he got over it much faster than I did.
Woman, Uncensored, followed by Dr. Momma hosted my post The Superior Choice on their amazing blogs. So incredibly exciting that they would think it worth sharing with their vast readerships. It's lead to a huge amount of positive support, moms who said I encouraged them, moms who thanked me for saying what they were thinking, and moms who judged me for judging other moms. (First - that's not what the post is about. Second - So... you're superior to me because you don't think you're superior to other moms? Third - Really, people? Do you read what you write? Perhaps I'm harsh, and maybe a bit of a snob [my sister did nickname me Snob when we were teens], but some of these comments just made me laugh out loud. "we're all superior... nobody is superior..." What? That... it... wh.... I can't even form a reply. Oh -NOT possible.) And, of course,  it lead to over 100 hits on my blog - woot woot! - and, count 'em, 12(!) followers. (Not one of which is me. I'm confused over why some people do that.) Thank you, everybody! It's so awesome to see you here!
We've been waiting and waiting to find out if my Boy (hubby)  has made it to the next step in the application process for a job we really, really want. This week, all we found out is that will be waiting at least a few more weeks. Urrr! Another rant in and of itself. So, so discouraging. 
Today it was confirmed that my cousin, who told me that she didn't want kids, is ten weeks pregnant. Thankfully, she is happy about it, and I'm sure when I'm in a better place I'll be happy for her. But right now, so soon after my loss, it just brings pain and feelings of unfairness.
With all the stuff that's been going on lately, including Boy's need to put in a lot of extra time at work, we've really felt like we need some time away. The IL's bought a "cottage" (read: seasonal house), and we planned to make a weekend getaway to it sometime in the next few weeks. (Hooray!) FIL let's us know today that there is no water hooked up, and won't likely be until May when the risk of freezing pipes passes. (sigh.)
My emotions are somewhat all over the place (or should I say hormones?), in part I'm sure from the miscarriage, and likely I'm getting close to ovulating again as well. So, I spent a chunk of the morning crying and wondering why something can't go right for me. (sigh, again)
But right now - this moment - my Boy has come home from work, my Bug has woken full of sunshine and kisses, and I have time to take a shower. What more does a woman need?

No comments:

Post a Comment